Jan
05

THE SORCERESS – NO WAY

By

Part 6 in a continuing series on Cindy’s employment search

The idea I was waiting on someone to save me would have been rejected outright prior to this journey. Hadn’t I elevated myself from an Associates degree from a community college into two of the top film schools in the nation? Didn’t I work hard, being the nicest person on the block so I could earn my space in this world? Hadn’t I run the lives of creative geniuses in business, never thinking the creative genius could be me? Since all are true, where’s my prize? In Los Angeles the fantasy that one will be discovered and plucked out of their current circumstance and gently placed in their rightful and dreamed of situation can happen. But when the hidden reliance on that low percentage occurrance secretly runs my life, I get nowhere. And nowhere is where I am.

The Sorceress. Perhaps the most vile and long-standing in my life, had me trapped in a fantasy world of “What If’s” and “If Only’s.” If blank happens, then I’ll be happy. If an outside source rescues me, then I’ll be saved (sentence lifted directly from Judith Parker Harris’ Secrets of Seven Villains).

Identifying the Sorceress felt like someone had just delivered some really bad news. Oh God, this can’t be. No one is going to find me and save me here in this warehouse? No, and for that matter, not anywhere. Only banishment to this desolate situation allowed the belief deep within my psyche to emerge. And there it was. Unless I do something different, nothing will change. Here, or anywhere.

This warehouse job is the physical manifestation of my villains: The Killer moved in and buried my creativity and joy and that’s just fine because the Saboteur told me lies. My screenplays were no good, my art too simple, my administrative skills lacking. The Bandit had me working harder than I ever had because hard labor is the only thing I can do. And now the Sorceress, and my dependence on someone or something to fix my circumstance.

You may be thinking this took eight months, really? And how old are you? I know one needs to be the hero in their own life, but I never saw how that applied to me. In my book I’d done my part, so why isn’t my life working? I submit that if you think me dull and dim witted to not see the obvious, and you base your judgement from your lofty and good position from which you operate, perhaps a few more stones over turned in your own life will push you from good to great. And from great to amazing. Now excuse me while I go do something productive for the future. My future. The one I really want.

JPH Note: Cindy’s struggle is classic and so is our own tendency to say, “Whew, I’m glad that’s not me,” all the while fearing our own villains and wondering just what they have in mind for us. Here’s the secret. Our villains are afraid we’ll find them. They hide behind our negative habits, patterns, routines and lessons that are impacting and sabotaging our lives today. When we start to change, the villains have no place to hide – so they run! That’s just where we want them, on the run, so we are free to embrace the life of our design, as opposed to a life full of other people’s programming. Even the Sorceress can’t stand the heat when we decide to wait no more for “If” to provide a miracle and instead move ahead to create our own magic. Take action every day and see how far you can move ahead this year.

Categories : Wisdom and Advise

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