May
17

HAVE YOU CHECKED YOUR LANGUAGE LATELY?

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How much of your power are you giving away by the way you talk? Is your language self-defeating or self-empowering? Are you spending more time beating yourself up or respecting what you do and who you are? Does your speech leave you burdened or enlightened? Are you a victim or a leader of your own life?

Sometimes, the very best thing you can do to change your life is give yourself an Attitude Make-over and that starts with every word that comes out of your mouth. Watch for sentences that use these words, I’m stuck, I’m afraid, I can’t, It’s too much, They have all the power, it’s their fault. With these words, you give away your power by simply handing it over to “them.”

Then there are the Burden words, like should, have to, need to, I’ll try – that can simply be replaced by I could, I choose to, I want to, and I’m completely responsible.

Let’s not forget how many times we beat ourselves up in a day with words like, I’m stupid, I have no luck, everybody else has what I want, I’m cursed, I’m too late, I’m not enough. Do I hear VICTIM in all of these words? You bet I do. When my clients get into this territory I have them write a rant. Go ahead, try it yourself. Think of a situation in your life right now that is making you unhappy. Then come up with every reason, excuse, complaint and whine regarding why you’re a victim and you just can’t make the situation any better because the world’s against you and you don’t have any luck because everyone else does but you. Blah, blah, blah.

When you’re done whining, ranting and crying, take each sniveling sentence and turn it into a positive declaration. I can’t becomes I won’t, Nobody appreciates me becomes I am loved. I’m afraid to do it becomes I embrace the challenge. You get the idea. Write your own success script.

A shortcut to get your attitude makeover started is to promise yourself that you will eliminate all judgment, criticism and blame from your speech. That means no judgment, criticism or blame of yourself as well! I have my clients do this for a week. Most can’t last more than an hour, as they get better and better at it, however, a habitual frown is often replaced by an easy smile.

In parting, I’ll give you 2 more attitude makeover gifts. One is to look in the mirror at the way you present yourself when you talk. Are you animated or bored, enthusiastic or filled with doubt? How’s your eye contact? Do you lean into he person you are talking to or take a defensive distance? Are your words clearly enunciated or mumbled as you slump into yourself?

And, finally, how about that posture of yours? I caught a look at myself in a department store window the other day and I was SHOCKED. My normally erect posture was slouched. My usually perky smile was overtaken by a furrowed brow and my brisk walk was slowed to a tired shuffle. Who was that, a voice screamed in my head? I looked more like my dear, departed mother than me. I now work on my posture daily, because believe me it’s like a trumpet heralding your mood and your attitude for the world to see as you enter a room.

If you’d like a jumpstart for every day, make sure your first thought when you open your eyes is a good one. Perhaps, “Hello world, let’s make it a good day.” Then roll over and sit up on your bed as you take a few deep breaths followed by a smile. Get up, stretch and connect with the energy around you as you seize your day in control of what your spoken words and body language have to say abo

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Comments

  1. Jodie says:

    That hit home. I have been using those expression in my speech a lot.
    Now
    I can’t… becomes I won’t.
    I’m afraid becomes it’s a challenge.
    Maybe I will embrace the challenge tomorrow.

    Thanks

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