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Again, as I feel some anger bubbling up inside of me, I revisit the topic? Why are so many people so angry – including me? My answer today is that we are trying to control the uncontrollable – which is just about everything. We can’t control the people in our lives, the crazy election we’re witnessing, the economic downturn we’ve been sludging through, or the bad news we just got. If we keep trying to force out control we end up like me over the past few months. I have a rock in my back, a knot in my shoulder and a lightening rod of pain up my neck. I can name each area of pain – a family member tiff, my husband’s illness, and social media.
So, I’ve been working it. I’m actually seeing a physical therapist, I do detailed sets of exercises every day and I try valiantly to practice what I coach – to journal, to meditate, to deal with my emotions, to B-R-E-A-T-H-E!
While all of that helps, the true answer came with me doing what is hardest for me. I had to let go of the outcomes I was hanging on to for dear life. I learned again, that forcing my will to get my desired outcome often causes something to break. In my case…it’s my back.
The real magic comes in substituting consciousness for control. At every decision making moment, slow down and think about what you want to do, and realize you have a choice. No one is forcing you and you’re not forcing anyone. Realizing you have a choice actually gives you (dare I say it) a little bit of control, now renamed POWER.
Your homework is to try a new form of communication:
1) Express your opinion, desire, or request, then let go of your perceived outcome.
2) Listen, without criticism, judgment or blame to the answer you are given.
3) Wait for 15 to 30 seconds to respond which gives you time to think about your options and make an objective choice.
4) Get ready to be surprised at a better than expected outcome.
A week ago, my husband had an encouragingly good health day – the first in a long while. Sadly, that was followed by several that were not nearly as good. We were disappointed. Then his acupuncturist said, “If he had one good day, he can have another. He’s not broken.” The lesson was to focus on the good day and to know there would be more – not in our control, but definitely out there.

September 21, 2012 was a really good day. I lived a moment of history that I will never forget and that proved to me once more that consciousness is key. I heard that the Space Shuttle Endeavor was going to fly right over our home in Malibu on it’s way to landing at LAX. I decided I really wanted to see that. So, I got on the internet and found the pathway and approximate times on ABC’s website. It was estimated to be flying over Malibu at 12:03. I got my camera, went out on the deck and was ready. I tried to get my husband to come out, but he was busy. Then suddenly, there it was and I was overpowered with emotion. I didn’t want to take the pictures, I wanted to cry out to the tree trimmers below and everyone who could hear, “The Shuttle is here, it’s beautiful.” So, I made a choice. I screamed out in joy, I cried at the beauty, I ran beneath the shuttle for as long as I could, and then I marveled at an exquisite event that would live in me forever. While I could not control the moment I could revel in it completely and savor it for eternity thanks to being in my full consciousness.

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