Play Valentine’s Day Forward
By Judith Parker Harris | February 14, 2010
Block: The perfect Valentine’s Day
Buster: Put the heart into every day.
My husband, Jack, and I love Valentine’s Day. We have celebrated 23 of them together and each one has been grand. He showers me with flowers, cards, and a sparkly gift and I shower him with candy, cards and some mushy, little gift. We have a glorious brunch if it’s Sunday like today, or an extravagant dinner most any other day of the week. We toast and we remember our other beautiful Valentine’s days.
This year comes after Jack has been very ill, thus this year we are extra grateful. In fact, at Brunch an ambulance came to take away a stricken diner and I know we both were thankful the ride wasn’t for us. How many more Valentine’s days do we have? How many more perfect days?
And, there is the real question and sometimes the problem. Sometimes we put so much worry into making it the perfect day that we forget to just notice the day. Instead we are knocked off course by any number of little things that can go wrong to disturb our perfect day. We didn’t get the right waiter, the table wobbled, motorcyclists disturbed the quiet, he or she didn’t say the right thing, maybe we should have gone to __________ instead. All of these saboteur thoughts and nuisances can ruin a perfect day as they distract us into the “I can’t” part of our brains.
But, what if it’s not a perfect day. What if it’s the “best day you can possibly make it day?” It’s just a slight brain twist. When it’s “the best you can make it day,” you have a choice about all the things that could take you off track. You can decide not to notice, to make the best of it, to incorporate it into your day, to discuss it, to relish surprises, to work it into your day, to laugh it off, to stay focused, and that’s just a few of the possible choices.
When I was in my early 20’s, I had a perfect day and I stopped my companion and simply said, “snapshot.” He asked, “What?” And, I said, I’m taking a mental snapshot so I remember this day always. I then found myself looking for perfect moments to snapshot. But, instead of more, I had fewer mental snapshots because I was waiting for “perfect.”
Today, I feel that my 23 Valentines Days with Jack have been the best we could possibly make them, and that is absolutely fabulous. Today, I am reminded to do that every day – to put the “special” way we treat each other on Valentines into every single day. The roses, and candy and gifts are very nice, but the absolute essential is saying “I love you,” and also saying something else really nice –noticing something you’ve taken for granted, being conscious of the couple and what it means to be together, taking in the other’s needs and expectations, stopping to SEE each other as if for the first time again. The search for perfection can keep you from seeing and enjoying the moment. The buster is to put the heart into every day and to be conscious of and receptive to those you love.
Topics: Blogs | No Comments »