DOGS RUNNING FREE ARE NO JOKE

By Judith Parker Harris

Block: “My dog doesn’t need a leash”
Buster: 2 victims and a mission

Saturday, September 4 at 2:30 in the afternoon, my husband Jack and I had just returned from the grocery store. We quickly took in the groceries, then I put the leash on my anxiously awaiting dog, Jasper, to go out for a fluid adjustment walk. We just rounded the corner of the medial strip and walked a few more steps as Jasper tried to find just the right place.

We happened to be directly across from a grassy field, that surrounding owners consider to be their “dog park.” Our full attention was on the task at hand, Jasper was quiet, the birds were singing, all was good until out of nowhere came a black and white pit bull mix, Laila, owned by nearby neighbors.

Laila was heading straight for Jasper as I firmly said, “Go home, go home and then yelled, “dog with no leash!” In a split second Laila was viciously attacking Jasper. I yanked the leash as hard as I could to pull Jasper away, That was not successful, so I reached down to try to pull him away and ended up falling on the ground myself. Now Laila was joined by Ranger, her friend, a Rodesian Ridgeback, also not on leash and owned by different nearby neighbors. I had Jasper to my right and thought I was protecting him only to learn later that the pit bull was attacking him from behind. Ranger was in front of us both and got Jasper’s front leg. Somehow I was bitten during one of my lunges to protect Jasper. I was now screaming for my life and Jasper’s. “Help me please, my dog is being killed,” I screamed over and over again. Jasper was no match for these two attack dogs, now in full pack mode, nor was I, as I realized I was in danger, too.

My wonderful next door neighbors, Michelle and Mark Russo, were the first on the scene. Michelle tried to get Jasper, Mark was successful in pulling Laila off temporarily. Ranger’s owner finally arrived and successfully pulled off Ranger and sent him home. Now Jasper was behind me, but little did I know, Laila was sinking his teeth into Jasper’s hindquarters and was literally shaking him to death. Laila’s owner pulled him off, but he went back. After three attempts, Mark released Jasper for good from Laila’s powerfully clenched jaws at which point Michelle grabbed Jasper straight up in the air and out of the fray and ran with him as fast as she could, unknowingly almost choking Jasper. When she was close enough to our house she put him down and yelled for him to go home. Michelle was hurt with a bad gash and a possible bite on her finger. While Michelle was making sure that Jasper got home, Mark made sure the dogs didn’t go for me while I regained my composure, put my shoes back on (somehow they came off when I fell to the ground to try to save Jasper.) I hobbled across the street, partially in shock. Mark was beside me helping all the way saying, “I’ll take you to the vet. We have to make sure Jasper is OK, Laila was shaking him like a rag doll. I’m surprised he’s still alive.”

I climbed up my back steps to Jasper. He was huddled in the corner, sitting in his own pee, looking terrified and trembling. My neighbor and I took Jasper to the Malibu Vet Clinic and soon found out that Jasper had 3 puncture wounds and needed 6 stitches. He had huge, ugly bruises on his tummy and elsewhere under his thick coat of fur. He was a scared but brave patient. Jasper was given two prescriptions and I was told to watch him carefully for signs of internal injury, particularly bladder and bowel. As we were walking to the car, Mark noticed another injury on Jasper’s leg and back we went.

Once that was all taken care of, we took Jasper home and then Mark took me to the Malibu Emergency Clinic. I had, indeed, been bitten on my elbow. I had a nasty puncture wound. My knees looked like they belonged to a badly bullied 8-year-old. The clinic cleaned me up, gave me a tetanus shot and sent me home. On the way to the car, Mark noticed I was still bleeding and found yet another puncture wound. “Hm-m—m, like doggie, like mommie. Thank goodness for Mark. Back I went for my patching.

BACK STORY: Three years ago, my husband, Jack and I rescued Jasper. He was a 20-lb beauty with his thick golden coat highlighted by blonde streaks. His body was solid and his muscles were strong, but his huge, auburn eyes though loving, held a haunting tinge of fear. He had endured a tough, first year, during which he had 3 adoptive owners and 3 different names – he was severely beaten, kicked, mistreated and even deserted. Two weeks before we adopted him, he was hit by a car. For weeks, Jack and I worked to put some zip into the severely withdrawn, Jasper. Slowly, with the help of three different trainers, he came to life and was able to leave some of the trauma behind as we poured on the love. We’ve worked hard with Jasper to get him to the point of being a happy, carefree little doggie, and we follow the rules.

I understand that dogs are supposed to be on a leash at all times when out and about in the Pt. Dume Club where we live. That rule is broken constantly and yesterday it almost cost my dog’s life, and endangered mine. I constantly see people riding bicycles with their dogs running behind – not on leash. Then there are the dogs that walk independently while their owners triumphantly carry their leashes. The gang dogs across the street play regularly – romping around the grassy field without their leashes. But, in a split second, when little, unsuspecting dogs go by, they become bait to the “free” dogs who can cause damage.
There are rules for dog owners living in high density communities and I think those rules should be followed for everyone’s safety.
I want for there to be penalties put on owners that allow their dogs to run freely without leashes putting little dogs and children at risk

My dog is afraid again. He spent Labor Day weekend under things. He didn’t want me to pick him up. He didn’t want to go outside. I woke up the day after the attack wondering how to get Jasper through our own area so I could walk him safely.

Final Note: While out in front of our homes Sunday afternoon talking with Michelle and Mark the day after the attack, the owners of both Laila and Ranger came up and apologized profusely — again. They have offered assistance and I know they feel sincerely terrible about what happened. Then to our great surprise, we looked across the street and Laila was walking along without an owner and without a leash. Soon, both of her owners were running in opposite directions trying to coral Laila. If Jasper had been out at that moment…(I’ll leave the details to your imagination.

What have I done? I filed a formal complaint with Animal Control. I walk my dog early in the morning (in the dark) so as to avoid other dogs.
I distributed this article to all the owners in our community. I guess the question remains: Why do so many people feel they are above rules and even above the law? There is an attitude today that “rules apply for everyone but me.” I’m longing for a more polite society where we look out for each other and where a woman walking her little dog on leash do not both have to be bitten by a dog having a bad day owned by people “above the rules.”

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Top Ten BlockBuster List of Achievment Killers — #4

By Judith Parker Harris

Block: Lack of Listening.
Buster: Shut-up, get over yourself, pay attention.

The fourth BlockBuster Achievment Killer is “Poor Listening Skills.” In the baseball game of conversations, negotiations, and all forms of communications, we have a nation full of pitchers, but very few catchers. That means we have a lot of balls that were in the air, rolling aimlessly on the ground because no body bothered to pay attention. Listening is truly akin to catching. We must remain silent, focus on the person speaking and try to catch the meaning, the intent and the agenda, if there is one. Where is the speaker coming from? Literally, is there a cultural component to the message? What emotions are clouding the message or hidden within the content?

Our baseball game of communication is very lop-sided. We have lots of people winding up and throwing a message, but few people are bothering to catch it, because they’d rather throw instead. Why? Frankly, their attention is somewhere else, most often it’s on themselves and what they are going to say next. Then there are all of those perceptions that men and women are from different planets so they can’t possibly “get” each other. And, we know that kid-speak is a code, teenagers speak in gibberish, young adults are way ahead of us, middle-agers are totally out of it and seniors simply can’t hear. Middle management can’t get through to executives, Assistants have no voice, departments have their own languages. And what about “those people” from the new company you just merged with? “Why they are truly from another planet.” Managers, leaders, politicians, clients, worker-bees, suppliers, vendors, creatives, number crunchers, government workers, freelancers – each category, and there are hundreds of them, has its own language.

So, you think you want to listen better? Here’s the plan.
1) Before you say anything, take a deep breath and focus on the other person. Look into their eyes. Tap into their energy. What is their body language saying to you?
2) Take another deep breath and prepare to listen.
3) Listen so intently you could repeat what they are saying. In fact, do that. Repeat it to yourself and then talk for the first time by saying, “This is what I heard you say…is that right?
4) If something said triggers an emotion, take a few seconds of silence to ask yourself why, and when you have an answer make sure it is valid in the context of this situation. If there is anger, distrust, misperceptions, prejudice, jealousy or any of those conversation stoppers involved, they must be disarmed. Shouting is the antithesis of communication.
5) Weigh your responses and throw out the first 3 to 5 of them as they are probably old programming belonging to someone else.
6) Ask questions that show your interest and bring out more of the other person rather than being stuck in misunderstandings.
7) Keep judgment, criticism and blame out of the conversation. Focus on whomever you are talking to with the goal of understanding, not winning, pontificating or disagreeing and you will be a sought after conversationalist.

One more thing regarding meetings, lectures, workshops, presentations, and the many forums in which people come together to learn and grow. Devote the first 25% of the meeting to listening. Leave all of your perceptions outside the meeting room and see what your open mind, free of its constant chatter can wrap itself around. If after 25 to 30% of the meeting, the content is truly bad, then tune out and save your focus for something that matters. If you forget to check your watch, welcome to some new ideas that found enough open space in your brain to come in and stay for a while.

Watch for my next blog and number 5 on the Top 10 List of Achievement Killers – Status Quo – Following #1Risk Aversion, #2 Unclear Intention, #3 Lack of Time and #4, Poor Listening Skills.

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7 WAYS TO BUST BLOCKS IN YOUR LIFE AND GET UN-STUCK

By Judith Parker Harris

The Blocked to Block-Buster Tip Sheet is dedicated to helping you bust through the blocks in your life so you can get what you want.

Today we’re going to explore blocks and seven ways to bust them out of your life.

First, What is a Block?

A block is any thought or emotion that is STUCK in your brain and that pops up sub-consciously to stop you in your tracks. Most often you are unaware of the block. It usually represents a disappointment, a broken heart experience, a loss, a failure – some experience that you decided to bury and perhaps deal with at a later date.

Blocks keep you from getting what you want out of life. Blocks keep you stuck in habits, patterns, routines and behaviors that are not working for you. These are the elusive things that you would like to change about yourself if you could just define it, find it, get your hands around it, understand it, express it. You can be blocked personally or blocked as an organization or a business.

Find Your Block

Here are some examples of blocks:

7 WAYS TO BUST THOSE BLOCKS

1)  FIND THEM.You can’t bust through the blocks unless you know what they are. When you feel stuck, ask yourself, “What do I think is blocking me?”

2)  INDULGE IN SOME CHAIN-COMPLAINING. Once you have found your, try to identify who taught you to feel or act that way then, let yourself complain a bit. Feel it, write about it, shout it out and… 

3)  LET IT GO! When the tirade is done, let it go. Once you’ve identified the perpetrators of your block and your chain complainin’ is done, you can give it back to them, and move on to the final step which is one of empowerment. Write down the opposite of the doubting statements in your mind.

4)  THROW OUT THE CAN’T, BRING ON THE CAN AND WON’T.

Make a new list or script:

I am talented enough…
I can do this.
I won’t fall into your belief system.

5)  BREATHE YOUR WAY OUT OF THE BLOCK The very act of breathing, getting rid of the old to make room for the new, is actually a metaphor for what you need to do to free yourself from any block. You need to breathe out the old, foul thinking, doubts and saboteurs that have your brain locked in blank mode, and breathe in new creative thoughts and inspirations. You want to breathe out the garbage and breathe in the muse.

6)  MEDITATE YOUR WAY OUT OF BLOCKS. When we are blocked, we must take our intense concentration off of that which is blocking us and put it somewhere else. Sit on the floor or in a chair with your feet flat on the floor. Close your eyes and breathe deeply for about 30 seconds. Ask yourself these questions – “What do I need to do to find and release this block? What is my body trying to tell me?" Then, listen for 20 minutes. Let the thoughts come and go through your brain. Do not act or react. When the 20 minutes is up, slowly open your eyes and you will most likely have the answers you seek, or you will be given the answers sometime within the day.

7)  Find Your Villains. The next issues will give an overview of the 7 Success-Defying Villains.

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ECONOMY FORCES OTHERS TO BEG, BORROW and STEAL?

By Judith Parker Harris

Block: Begging
BlockBuster: Ask for a Hand not a Handout

A Friend and client of mine just sent me this email which caused me to think my way into this article for you. She wrote, “I was just on the subway and as it was approaching my stop a woman came on my car and announced to the train that she is struggling financially and is trying to raise her 12 year old son and that she has just recently been diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. She said she has been trying to get a job but as of yet no one has accepted her application. The train was pulling up to my stop as she finished her speech so I was able to hand her a $5 bill as I exited the train with tears in my eyes.”

The story is made even more poignant when you know that my friend also has Mulitple Sclerosis, as do I – and like all people with chronic or life-threatening illnesses, we wonder what will happen to us if our money or insurance runs out.

How many of us now look at others forced to beg, borrow, and hopefully not steal, and feel panic wondering if “There but for the grace of God go I?”

So many people who are used to and proud of always taking care of themselves and never needing a handout now find themselves in precarious, embarrassing, humiliating, demoralizing situations. One couple both seriously ill and relying on one partner’s paycheck have found themselves unemployed for almost 2 years. They are one month away from losing their apartment and their health insurance. They have not yet asked me for money.

Another friend who was the primary caregiver for 3 young children suddenly found himself kicked out of the relationship and fighting to have custody of his children with a terrible decision to make – work and not see the kids or see the kids and not be able to support them. He has asked me for money.

I could relate story after story, but I’m sure you all have stories of your own.

I wrote the following back to my friend: “You are not and will never be a VICTIM.
This woman, God bless her, is a victim. How could her speech have been different? What could she have said to possibly generate a job? How could she have left that subway with people wanting to give her a hand, not a handout?
Just some questions and food for thought.”

I’m all for gratitude and reminders and giving love, support and even loans — but just remember, it’s just a few steps from Victim to Hero. What we need to do as a country is make more paths available to take those forced to flounder in victimhood and put them on the pathway to their own heroic journeys.

I would love your thoughts and comments on how this can be done.

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Top 10 BlockBuster List of Achievement Killers — #3

By Judith Parker Harris

Block: Lack of Time.
Buster: Make it, Steal it, Demand Time for Yourself.

I have always wanted an eighth day to my week. This would be a day that no one else knows about. I would sit at my desk in complete silence. The phones would not ring, the computer wouldn’t ding, there would be no chaos outside my door. I would sit at my desk and I would write, create, ponder, think, breathe, review, strategize, research, in short, I WOULD ACHIEVE.

I never got the eighth day so I had to create it myself. I start my day at 4:30 AM or 5:00 AM when everyone I know is sleeping. I use that special time to achieve the connection with my brain, my creativity, my strategic plan.

If you’re not an early morning person, where can you create your “special time”? There’s late night, the middle of the night, a stolen lunch hour to walk in the park, weekend alone time that you declare and stake out for yourself, no questions asked.

You get the idea, “special time” is a time when everybody in your life is doing something else so they cannot intrude upon your time. It’s that time when you get the download from your own brain free from the noise the rest of the world is trying to download into your brain.

Time is a precious resource – perhaps one of the most precious. Only you can decide how much time you need for sleep, love, career, fun, community, spiritual, family, friendships, health, parenthood, and environment – most of the life areas in which we must apportion our time. Achieving balance in these areas takes conscious effort and a bit of magic. It can be done, however, even though I’m hearing a chorus of naysayers.

Time: We want to ration it, store it, protect it, steal it, hoard it, create it and hold on to it so time will never run out. We want to wrap our minds around using time well, around taking an early hour in the morning and focusing our intent so expertly that it seems like one hour morphs into our very own 8th day of the week.

To connect to your genius, which will align you with the achievements you desire, you simply must remember to make, steal and demand time for yourself. That is where you will find the “magic” to run your life according to your own plan. Time most certainly will run out for us all, but at the very least we can say, it was time well spent.

Watch for my next blog and #4 on the BlockBuster List of Achievement Killers – Not Listening.

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Top 10 BlockBuster List of Achievement Killers — #2

By Judith Parker Harris

Block: Unclear Intention
Buster: Know What You Want.

Number 2 on the Top 10 List of Achievement Killers is having an Unclear Intention. How can you possibly get what you want when you can’t state it with conviction and clarity? Once you can do that, have you defined a SMART intention, meaning is it specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and timely?

Remember, an intention according to Webster’s Dictionary is “something that somebody plans to do or achieve, the quality or state of having a purpose in mind.” The element that fuels the plan or purpose is clarity. What do you want? Why do you want it? When do you want it? Who’s going to make it happen? Where do you want this to take place? Yes, you’ve got it, defining your intention is a bit like being a detective. You’ve got to get to the facts, all of them, and keep narrowing it down to what is achievable. Just keep asking Why? Until you drill down to the heart of your intention – the heart of the matter.

All of my clients must start their projects with me by having an intention in mind. They must also name what they think is blocking them from getting that intention. Recently, one client, by our fourth session had still not been able to define her intention. There were many factors at work: She was a multi-tasker and couldn’t imagine narrowing her projects down to one; She had difficulty prioritizing; She had a fear that if she named her intention, determined to go after it and failed that she wouldn’t be able to face the consequences. These are just three of the many excuses people find to keep them from going after their dreams. Let’s not forget, “I’m not good enough,” “I’m too busy.” “It’s too late.” I could list 50 excuses that block us at one time or another.

When the excuses are at work, we tend to be more general than anyone can grasp or even care about. My client kept saying, “My intention is to be happy.” I kept saying, “Yes, you and everybody else. And, what will make you happy? Choose a concrete intention and explore the happiness that accomplishing that intention brings, then go on to the next intention and the next intention…”

Bottom line is, know what you want. Think about it, feel what it would be like to achieve it, feel what it would be like to not have it, look at it from every angle, talk about it until you can express it in 7 words – a good headline. Have a picture so clear in your head, heart and soul that you can get anyone and everyone to see the vision of your intention — accomplished.

Define it, see it, speak it, feel it, strategize it, and you will achieve it.

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