Blocks in the News
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By Cindy Baker Gilbert
This is Part 3 of an on-going series courtesy of Writer/Producer Cindy Baker Gilbert who struggles to find employment while keeping her career intentions alive.
When is it a block and when is it just survival? I may be busting through blocks, but I still need to eat and pay bills. No one has responded to my resume which is why I am here to take the lift test – the one remaining hurdle prior to being hired to pack pallets at this grocery distribution warehouse. It’s my turn, and I grab two layers of twelve cans each, smash them against my chest and lower down to the second pallet, bending my legs and not my back. Up and down. again and again. I make comments like, “This feels like I am a participant on Survivor” and “It’s like trying to figure out a Rubic’s Cube.” After 10 minutes the supervisor says, “Well, that’s it. That’s the job.” I act like this is the most fun I have ever had and reiterate, much like I did in the office the previous day, that I want this job.
If I don’t hear anything by Tuesday, they have passed. Tuesday comes and goes. How did I not get chosen for this warehouse job? I call my temp agency who finally tells me yes they passed. ”There’s been a huge mistake,” I tell her. ”Call them back and tell them they made a mistake. ” I know this is my job. I don’t know what went wrong.
They tell my rep, ”We were just reconsidering her,” they say. ”We think we should have put her through.” My rep persists, “What made you pass on her the first time?” The surprising answer, ”Her personality. She had too much. Sometimes that can be annoying in a warehouse environment.”
They can’t penalize me for having a good personality. My rep said, “I told them you were just excited about the job, that you were not that way all the time.”
Once hired I find out I’ve been assigned to the freezer section. Let me clarify. I wear insulated overalls, sweatshirt, jacket, wool socks, insulated boots, ear muffs and several gloves, because it’s minus 18 degrees. Heavy boxes of frozen food have my fingertips numb with cold, my nose hair is frozen and my eyes are glazed over with icy tears. It’s like working for an outdoor moving company at the North Pole. A couple hours in there and I’m happy to go to Produce where it is a balmy 54 degrees and a box of lettuce weighs more than my dog. I call Judith. “What villain is this?” and she assures me it’s simply called survival. Because I am still sending out resumes, I am following up on leads, I am working for a better tomorrow.
The up shot of this job is I don’t have to pay to work out at a gym, this company pays me to work out. And it comes at a price. My knuckles and elbows are stiff and swollen. I am exhausted, in bed by 8 PM and have no trouble sleeping. Meanwhile, I get up at 5 am, feed the dog, make coffee for my husband and I, stretch, meditate and write through my blocks before showing up for work at 7:25 am. Ready to pack those pallets. I’ve even come up with a couple “save the world” ideas. Now I’m reeling myself in and just looking for a way to be of service and have fun doing it.
JUDITH’S NOTE: Now, that’s what I’m talking about. There’s a lot of truth to clichés like, “When the going gets tough, the tough get going.” Sure, there are some questions left for Cindy to explore: What is frozen in her life? What needs to be lifted from her in order for her to move forward? What does this heaviness and struggle represent?
But there is also SURVIVAL, and Cindy demonstrates a spirit that will not break but will break through – blocks and all! She does what she has to do while she keeps pushing forward to her calling. She doesn’t give up. She recognizes and hangs on to her core values and talent. She keeps her intention burning bright and she moves toward it – sometimes inches at a time, but she keeps moving, and she keeps who she is alive.
Cindy is a talented artist in so many ways. And, she’s a gifted writer who is making a living with what’s available while she finds her voice and hones her craft.
Blocked In My Job Search By The Bandit Villain
By Cindy Baker Gilbert
The longer I am unemployed the better bad money sounds. This curious statement has started me wondering. When I turned down that $10 an hour, 6 days a week job on the ranch I never dreamed I would entertain working in a flour and corn mill for $9 an hour, 5 days a week. This was not some boring desk job but a fast-paced assembly line packaging gig where I wear steel toed boots, khaki pants and a company shirt with a hair net and goggles.
“Why are you so eager to go in this direction,” my husband demands. “Get excited about the big paying jobs and go find those.” Okay, let me run right out and do that. I have waded through the spam jobs online, hit up my friends, called previous employers, cold called companies and signed up with the agencies they use after submitting myself to their battery of tests, Microsoft Word and Excel being the gate-keepers for all positions whether they are needed or not.
My husband could not believe I even attempted to take those tests. “You are technically challenged and got lucky when you found work at an internet company who had gurus fixing IT problems all day. Okay, maybe I should remove Word, Excel and Quickbooks from my resume. “Who told you to put those on?” he asks continuing with, “You are a very good facilitator, a great communicator and have very nice social skills. But you will never, ever be expert at computers and software.”
It seems my version of who and what I am is not the same as how my husband sees me, or any where near close to reality for that matter.
Maybe that’s why it’s not working. Apparently the jobs I‘m not getting are not only the jobs I don’t really want, but also the ones that I can’t really do. Yes, that used to be me with the mad office skills, but not so much any more. Who is this person holding on yet dying to let go of the old skills and ways?
I point my finger at the BANDIT VILLAIN, the voice in my head that tells me to embellish every skill and every job experience, because otherwise someone else will be more qualified, look better, have all the luck and get that job. My fear of “not being enough” keeps me trapped in the same old story, thus setting myself up for the same old results. So, it’s not that I seek out these low paying jobs, it’s that they represent a totally new direction. Maybe not the ultimate path but a new one and that gets me excited.
Editor’s note: Besides the Pirate/Bandit Villain nagging at Cindy with his “You’re not enough” refrain, she is also being hounded by the Killer Villain who keeps you stuck in the past, thereby rendering you ineffective in the present. You can’t move forward when you’re stuck on an old version of yourself. When the Killer is your villain look at what needs to die in your life: Say good-bye to dead end jobs, lost loves, inherited prejudices, false lessons, dreams you replaced long ago and allow yourself a Life Attitude Makeover. New answers and opportunities will follow.
Do You Have To Grow Up To Get A Job?
By Cindy Baker Gilbert
At this point I am interviewing for positions for which I am not completely qualified. We do that, right? Get scared there is nothing out there or what is out there will show up too late. So I’ve ignored the database management requirement as I sit across the desk from a woman in the fashion industry. “But I can learn anything!” I demand. My enthusiasm effects her like I’m tossing popcorn at a battle ship. I even wore my best designer suit since this was in the fashion world only to discover the “dress” of this small office is very casual and there would be no interaction with designers. Lesson learned: Do more homework. Show up looking like you belong. I push onward. “What exactly would I be doing?” She points to the five stacks of papers on her desk, each a different category. “All this,” she said with a wave of her calm, majestic hand attended by a concise, verbal summary of each stack. Like she was the queen of her castle and all was well in the land of Nod. “People rely on us for information,” she added. “A certain degree of gravitas is required. We not only have to be right but instill our clients with confidence in what we offer.” I left the interview reaffirming my desire for this position. I knew standing at the downtown bus stop that the job was not mine.
I went home and looked up gravitas: seriousness, solemnity or importance. This woman really thought a lot of herself and her services. I felt it and was drawn to her. My over-reaching personality, that I think charming, served me well in previous situations, including when I was five and vying for my parents’ attentions, but it is far from gravitas. How is it that I’m drawn to traits in another that I don’t have? Maybe the people-pleasing me yearns to grow up and hold my own. Maybe what I need is a complete personality change. Or maybe I just need to address the Killer Villain, again. My free-spirited, light-hearted attitude apparently no longer serves me. Because really, is there anything more scary than a middle-aged woman who still needs to grow up? This Killer Villain is trying to take me down and I will not let it. But how to kill the Killer?
Judith Parker Harris COMMENT:
How do you kill the killer?
Grow up. Leave the old negative lessons, habits and routines behind.
When being interviewed, use the 4-step, magic communication technique that will draw people to you: 1) Open up, 2) Listen, 3) Keep your defenses down, 4) Think about your strategy and how you can be part of the solution for the interviewer.
Do you have to grow up?
Answer: Depends on the job, but definitely keep it open as an option.
Blocked In My Job Search
By Judith Parker Harris
Preface: Dear BlockBusters,
I asked my friend and colleague, currently out of work, to share her job seeking adventures with us through the filters of our seven villains. While she masterfully covers up frustration with a smile, she knows the Killer villain is at work. We’d love to hear how your villains have sabotaged your job search.
BLOCKED IN MY JOB SEARCH By Cindy Gilbert
Out of work for two years has done nothing for my credit rating or self esteem. I’ve volunteered and networked, neither of which did anything to land a job, never mind advance my career.
Finally a major advertising agency in Los Angeles came calling. Yes, I’ve heard the rumors, ageism is alive and well in southern California. I went to the interview with a slight chip on my shoulder which I tried to counter with enthusiasm that came across as simply weird energy. As I interviewed for the position of administrative assistant my speech sounded canned with a monotone that screamed, “I don’t want this job but need the money.” I even did a follow-up PowerPoint presentation of my dog to show I had the chops. “Nope, sorry,” was the answer.
But when a Human Resources gal at yet another large ad agency in Los Angeles called saying I had been recommended, the doubts and frustration melted away. “I’m not too old!” and did a Sally Fields (You like me, you really like me.) The departing assistant gave it to me straight. “These two guys are really cool,” with a look that said, “and you are not.” At the end she went to see if she “could find” the HR gal who, no surprise here, turned out to be busy. Wait for it, here it comes, yes that’s right I got the big “Nope, sorry.”
I am now the official quota filler being passed around HR departments, keeping them in compliance with fair hiring standards. “Hey, we loved her, we just found someone better suited for this position.”
Out of all the villains arguing in my head, which one was responsible for making me feel aged out and burned out? The Killer villain took two steps forward, sporting a huge grin.
“Give up, roll over and play dead because life as you know it is over,” whispered the Killer in my ear. How long had he been living in me, causing me to operate from a deficit when presenting myself and my skills? And here’s the thing, nothing in those jobs delighted or inspired me, and I admit the possibility I would have been a lonely worker there, or worse yet, bored. My time is valuable, and if time is on the downhill side of noon, I must be about the business of defining my continuing career life. Next time I’ll take sturdy stock of my skills, present them in a confident manner, ask more questions to see if I even want to be there. This time I was too busy resuscitating my gasping ego that the KILLER VILLAIN had already attacked before I even showed up.
Editor’s note: The Killer thrives by attaching you to old versions of yourself, when what you need to get a job is to embrace who you are now. Present what an employer needs with appropriate confidence, enthusiasm and knowledge and the Killer’s arsenal of ageism and countless other “ism’s” will be depleted.
Can Random Acts of Violence Be Neutralized By Random Acts of Kindness
By Judith Parker Harris
A weekend of horrible random acts forces the question – is it random? Are we helpless victims of fate? The 9.0 earthquake in Japan on Friday, March 11, 2011 may have taken as many as 10,000 victims. None of them woke up Friday morning knowing it was their last day.
Why? Why does the higher power allow such suffering?
A bus bringing gamblers home to Los Angeles from Las Vegas is bumped by a tractor/trailer and topples over, it’s entire roof sheered off by a street sign – 14 die
We are all stunned as we watch and wonder, “There but for the grace of God go I?”
A few months ago, a well known publicist, Ronni Chasen, was shot in the chest 5 times when driving home from the premiere of the movie Burlesque. I knew Ronnie, slightly, my husband knew her well –we’re both close friends with her brother.
Under cover of night this horrible murder happened in Beverly Hills and to this day there are no clues released that make sense to anyone. From gang initiation to a car jacking gone wrong, angry nut job tooling through Beverly Hills looking for a fight, or perhaps someone in town got the short shrift in their career due to some real or perceived slight from Ronni or her people.
Things like this just don’t happen for no good reason. Or do they?
Accidents, natural disasters, murder…Why?
I don’t have the answers. Who does?
I look at my seven villains and conclude that we must at least have control of them within ourselves. We cannot let the saboteur, killer, mugger, bandit, monster, lost love, or sorceress win? If each one of us wages our own battle to become heroic, aren’t we more prepared for what life brings?
Countless heroes will be born from the tragedy in Japan.
Will a hero be born because of Ronni’s murder? I don’t know. I do know that her murder changed me in some tiny way, however.
I am determined to be part of the chain of people who come together to heal, to survive to find answers for the unanswerable. Perhaps it starts with each one of us putting out more good energy than bad to form a tsunami of human goodness, spirit and love.
Please help make this a discussion and send me your thoughts.
ECONOMY FORCES FORMER WAGE EARNERS TO BEG, BORROW and STEAL?
By Judith Parker Harris
Block: Begging
BlockBuster: Ask for a Hand not a Handout
A Friend and client of mine recently sent me this email: “I was just on the subway and as it was approaching my stop a woman came on my car and announced to the train that she is struggling financially and is trying to raise her 12 year old son and that she has just recently been diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. She said she has been trying to get a job but as of yet no one has accepted her application. The train was pulling up to my stop as she finished her speech so I was able to hand her a $5 bill as I exited the train with tears in my eyes.”
The story is made even more poignant when you know that my friend also has Multiple Sclerosis, as do I – and like all people with chronic or life-threatening illnesses, we wonder what will happen to us if our money or insurance runs out.
How many of us now look at others forced to beg, borrow, and hopefully not steal, and feel panic wondering if “There but for the grace of God go I?”
I could relate story after story of hard working people who have been laid off and shocked at the amount of time that has gone by in a fruitless job search – long enough to bankrupt their hard earned plans and bank accounts. People who have never needed a handout now find themselves in precarious, embarrassing, humiliating, demoralizing situations.
I wrote the following back to my friend: “You are not and will never be a VICTIM. This woman, God bless her, is a victim. How could her speech have been different? What could she have said to possibly generate a job? How could she have left that subway with people wanting to give her a hand, not a handout? Just some questions and food for thought.”
I’m all for gratitude and reminders and giving love, support and even loans — but just remember, it’s just a few steps from Victim to Hero. What we need to do as a country is make more paths available to take those forced to flounder in victimhood and put them on the pathway to their own heroic journeys.
I would love your thoughts and comments on how we can give a hand and not a handout.
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