Archive for November, 2009
IN GRATITUDE TO OUR VETERANS
By Judith Parker Harris
On this Veterans Day, I’m still on the BlockBuster path of Purpose. Today, we remember those who gave their lives protecting our country and express our gratitude for those who serve. I know they serve with purpose. I ask you to join me in a moment of reflection and prayer. My husband is a veteran of World War II. I am so proud of him and his big, wonderful life. I can tell you, he is a man of purpose – always has been, always will be.
Several years ago, when writing my first book, I interviewed veteran, Mark Learner. He served in Viet Nam, only to return home and be faced with the blindness and numbness of Multiple Sclerosis. He explained to me that he has found a way to get past the ego-based reality of most human beings by going beyond thoughts to a place he calls the zero point, something he learned in battle. He values life – not thought.
Mark then led me through a positive/negative self-image exercise to help me experience the zero point. He asked me to think of the worst thing that ever happened to me and to capture the experience in a word. I thought PANIC. Mark had me imagine the physical sensations of panic and give the self that felt that way a name – I chose “Ditzel.” Next, Mark led me to do the opposite. I concentrated on the best thing that had happened to me and feelings related to that. I thought of EUPHORIA, imagined feeling a blissful peace, and named the self with those feelings “Darling.” He then had me put my fingers on the pulse in my neck and repeat, “I am Darling,” three times. According to Mark, by doing that nightly before going to sleep, while concentrating on images of myself when I felt “darling,” my positive responses would become automatic and would be connected to my purpose.
Going beyond thought to a purpose that is AUTOMATIC is the zero point. Mark explained, “During intense combat, soldiers are forced beyond thoughts. Nobody thinks ‘What am I having for dinner tonight?’ They are just alert, with clear awareness, fighting for their lives and our country.”
Now, I have a gift for you on Veteran’s Day. My dear friend, Sheryl Roush has written a wonderful book called HEART OF A MILITARY WOMAN. Below is an excerpt for you to enjoy and a link to get the book and save.
SAVE $2.00/book 11/11-11/30/2009:
www.facebook.com/l/b02f3;www.sparklepresentations.com/store_books.asp
EXCERPT FROM BOOK:
She is a tough and formidable opponent… Yet her heart will soften and swell with pride as she looks at Old Glory or the men and women and children she serves and protects… Her heart aches for home and her loved ones, especially when she is far away… She is amazing in her ability to adapt, overcome adversity, do whatever it takes and still dance the night away if given a pair of heels, a dress and music. She laughs deeper, loves harder and her heart knows no bounds. That is the heart of a military woman.
- Debra Ann Ristau, USARNG Photo-journalist, California Army National Guard, Mother of a U.S. Marine Daughter
I’VE LOST MY PURPOSE
By Judith Parker Harris
Block 52: Purpose-hiding obstacles. Buster: Realize that obstacles do not exist to hide your purpose, but to reveal your purpose by irritating you into action.
In this great country we live in, The United States of America, which I submit has become the United States of Anger, I see a lot of people walking around without a purpose. You might also describe them as “off point.” Everybody is stewing about the economy, terrorism, lack of leadership, healthcare, multiple wars, lack of jobs, and loss of just about everything. What do all of these things have in common? They leave the person experiencing the “block” feeling helpless, and perhaps even hopeless.
What is the antidote to feeling helpless and hopeless? A sense of purpose. What is your purpose? You could even have several – a business purpose, family purpose, relationship purpose, world purpose. Can you think of one or many?
Let me give you an example of how an obstacle can obliterate your purpose until you embrace the obstacle. For at least two years now I have been resenting social media. Why do I have to do it? How can I keep up with all those people? Who cares about me? It’s a waste of time. There must be a better way. I can whine all I want about social media, but all it does is leave me feeling helpless and hopeless in the face of a communication movement that will leave me behind if I don’t get involved. My obstacle was fear of social media, and I was completely irritated. I busted the helpless, hopeless, irritated obstacle by embracing social media. I enrolled in selfgrowth.com’s Social Media University. By embracing my so-called enemy, I found my purpose, to “Bust Life Blocks,” and help as many people as possible find the secret to living a BlockBuster life. The result is, I am writing more, coaching more, creating more product and finding new audiences because I’m clear about my purpose – all due to embracing my so-called enemy, social media.
Now, you try it. What irritates you right now? (I call that a block) Are you mad about terrorism, about the healthcare bill, about the economy? Express your anger, be specific, and find your block, the one that leaves you helpless and hopeless.
OK, now what is your purpose regarding this block? What can you do to move into a position of power, of action, of answers? Get more information, take an action such as writing to a government representative, join a political action committee, change your career, deal with some personal issues? Make sure that the decisions you make every day reflect who you are, what you believe in and the goals you have set for yourself. If the people and activities in your life do not reflect your purpose, you may need to take a second look.
My business purpose is to help people break through thoughts and emotions that keep them stuck in habits, patterns and routines they’d like to change. My purpose in life is the Golden Rule, and my purpose in love is to come together with my soul mate as two whole people whose union makes our world a better place.
I submit that when we all spend more time on purpose rather than on our pet peeves, the world will be full of solutions in progress.
5 STEPS TO BUST A BLOCK
By Judith Parker Harris
5 STEPS TO BUST A BLOCK
Block 51: “I don’t want to change.” There is only one way to bust a block and that is to find the habit, routine, core belief, attitude or perception that is causing you to automatically resist something without understanding why, and then to change it. I’m hearing a chorus of “I don’t want to,” “I don’t have time,” “Perhaps it will take care of itself,” and any one of 100 other excuses.
Stop the excuses, just for a moment and answer this question: “What’s the worst thing that can happen if I don’t change?” The truth is, whatever you answered will probably come true if you don’t change. Another unfortunate fact is that if you don’t change, you’ll just keep repeating the same disappointing behavior in rather disheartening situations. Often, the pain of being stuck has to be greater than the perceived pain of change in order for us to CHANGE. That’s what happened to me when I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis in 1985. At that time there were no medications to recommend, no doctors with answers. I could have chosen to be passive and wait for a cure, but I chose to be active in my own care, research and action. It felt good to establish some control over my situation, and the results have been astonishing.
So, here’s what to do when you run into a block:
1) Ask yourself the five “W” questions. Why am I feeling resistant? Who has made me feel this way before? What has happened to me that triggers this type of reaction? When have I felt and reacted this way before and how did it turn out? Where was I when I had these similar feelings and thoughts?
2) Check in with your habits. Is this type of situation or resistance repeated in your life? What feels old, familiar and uncomfortable about it? Check your immediate, knee-jerk assumptions and perceptions. Do they even apply to your life anymore?
3) If you have found a habit – where did it come from? Who else had these habits? Do you want to keep this habit or change it?
4) Follow the “Why” questions along the path they take you until you find the exact attitude, behavior or belief that needs to be changed. Why do I act this way, feel this way, react this way?
Try applying these four questions to the national healthcare crisis and how you feel about it personally. Many of us are holding on to a bit of fear in one way or another that change will take away something we hold dear – that change can’t be good. But, why? Face whatever resistance you may have, answer the Bust A Block questions objectively, and then think about what would satisfy you in a healthcare plan. Try to connect with the problem and the solution and see where you stand as a journalist observer looking at the big picture.
With the understanding you gain in these four steps, change will be made much easier, because you most often are changing something that was not of your choice in the first place.
An excerpt from CONQUER CRISIS WITH HEALTH-ESTEEM by Judith Parker Harris. blockedtoblockbuster.com/education1.html
OUR ANGRY COUNTRY NEEDS TO GRIEVE
By Judith Parker Harris
BLOCK #51, UNEXPRESSED GRIEF: If you’re wondering what happened to Blocks 1 through 50, they are all on Twitter, I just didn’t number them. My challenge is to bust 365 blocks. I will do it regularly, but not always daily.
Today, I am still stewing over yesterday’s post concerning a friend receiving the news of her grandfather’s death through a post on her Facebook wall. This has led me to bust the Block of Unexpressed Grief. Why would someone do that? Because, we don’t make time to grieve – it’s just plain inconvenient to slow down and have to comfort someone – or even ourselves. We’re too busy with our lives to stop and recognize the sadness that underlies our disappointment, so we blow off in an angry outburst instead. (Sometimes angry tears that surprise us.)
There is an oppressive layer of sadness in our lives today. Often, you can feel it in the air. You can certainly see it on people’s faces, in their gait, in their eyes, in their tired demeanor. Sadness is triggered by past memories when they represent unfinished business. Lynn Andrews writes in her Power Deck that “grief introduces you to parts of yourself that are not yet healed…It is said that the seeds of wisdom and enlightenment are planted within the wounds of grief.”
I don’t think it’s necessary to list all the reasons why we’re sad, just a few suffice. It’s the shock and residual pain of the “Great Recession.” It’s the disappointment in the leadership we feel we can no longer trust. It’s the fact that life as we were taught it would be – isn’t. It’s living with terrorists and terror every day in a post 9/11 world where we know we are not invincible. It’s the fighting over 1900 pages of a healthcare bill that has morphed into an ugly bi-partisan debate. But, that’s the big picture.
Let’s take it to the personal picture level for a moment. It’s dealing with the aging of your parents or a loved one and feeling like you are losing them one little piece at a time. How many people, things, dreams and expectations are we losing one little piece at a time?
I urge you to take a look behind you and make a list of all the things that need to die in your life: False hopes, dead-end jobs, damaging love affairs, inherited prejudices, negative lessons, versions of yourself that no longer hold true. Say good-bye! Allow yourself a good cry. Visualize pain floating out of your eyes on tear boats. Be glad to see the pain depart. You can cry alone. But don’t be ashamed. Rant and rave if you need to. Flail your arms, kick your legs, LET IT GO!!! Keep the wonderful memories and choose how to cherish them in your lives, but say good-bye to the FINISHED BUSINESS that can hold you back as long as it hides out in your body as unexpressed grief.
During intense periods of grief, it also helps to talk to professionals. In addition to self-help groups, grief recovery groups and groups dealing with your particular loss or crisis are available. Release your grief and you will defuse the pressure cooker of anger, clearing the path for peace and contentment again. You will be much more capable of dealing with what is, when it is no longer attached to what was. Don’t be afraid of grief, it is truly a vehicle for rebirth.