Jan
01

WHAT’S THE POINT?

By

At some point I want proof that things are changing within me and not just my advancing skills of identifying what I did wrong and why. That time has arrived.

Our 15-year old Corgi was at my feet gasping for air. Me, who in 1993, was in the World Trade Center South Tower the first time they tried to bring it down. Me, who ran down the stairwell and did an OJ Simpson jump over a guy pulling a slow-moving freight cart, leaving tracks across his back in my panic to flee. Me, still embarrassed by this reaction to what I thought was simply a blown generator, still doubting my ability to be of any help in a crisis. Thus the basis of my strong reaction to the film GRAVITY. Dr. Ryan Stone’s focus and determination to not flip out and willingness to keep her wits in the middle of such an ordeal made my hands sweat. I sat in my theater seat and knew for a fact I could never do what she did, never dig deep enough to find that calm center within needed to survive.

I want my dog to survive. There is no one else at home. No one to take over and fix it. I grab my old dog struggling to breath and run to the neighbor’s home. By now he’s unconscious and his tongue grey. He’s so limp I could have wrapped him around my neck. I bang on the front door thinking she is never home, never in the front of the house, never hears me knocking because the doorbell is broken. She answers. Help me, my dog is dying.

I kneel in the snow, secure his mouth closed with my fingers and begin breathing fresh oxygen into his lungs through his nose. That’s right. Mouth to mouth resuscitation on my dog. I recall seeing a smiling young couple holding hands as they pass by on the sidewalk not 15 feet away and thinking how happy they seem, how different their reality than mine in that moment.

On the way to the animal emergency clinic I am calm and focused on my little man, breathing for him. Talking to him. Encouraging him to come back to me. We’ll eat little oatmeal balls to chase away the fear during thunder storms. I’ll tickle so deep inside his ears, we’ll both be surprised. And please, please wait until your human papa gets home. We are almost there and this time as I blow oxygen into his lungs it’s not okay. I liken it to an alcoholic who wakes up from a blackout and finds himself sitting in an AA meeting. Wait, what? What’s going on here and why is my nose in your mouth? He’s back. I swear the next thing he did was lick my nose. I’m not saying I now wear a bracelet from the film GRAVITY with the letters WWRD (What Would Ryan Do). I am saying my reactions are changing and this bust through your blocks process is working in ways I never imagined.

JPH note: Yes! My point exactly. Cindy was moved to save her dog’s life and give him mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. In that moment everything changed and lessons came through. Nothing in the past mattered – only the present. And, her movie role model, Gravity’s, Dr. Ryan Stone, had to let go of everything she’d been holding onto in life. She had to spin out in order to find the focus and determination to survive and thrive.

They both had to push out depression, anxiety and fear in order to do what they had to do in the present.

A hero’s moment comes in many shapes and sizes, but they all share one thing: To do what they must do, they all must find their own truth and strength at the deepest center of themselves.

Categories : Blocks in the News

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