This Stuff Works!


This is Part 8 of a continuing series by Cindy Baker Gilbert

If you followed me during this time of upheaval and unemployment, perhaps you identify with the Sorceress, Bandit and Killer villains that held me captive under their anvil thumb. My early attempts back into the job market to my current job as a warehouse selector for a grocery distribution center pointed out just what had been holding me back. Working through these villains produced clarity which led to change and change has come.

Armed with these new understandings, my next interview at a university was completely different. I was engaged and engaging, none of my appendages were tapping or flapping, I shook hands with the entire committee, handed out my resume for ease of reference and smiled when saying thank you for seeing me. I demonstrated a calm and competent attitude and gave the the director of the division a good idea to help facilitate her faculty meetings. I was offered the job.

There were several things about this position which did not ring true for my immediate needs nor future goals. What surprised me most was my reluctance to turn it down. What held me back was a sense of guilt folded in a blanket of people-pleasing. Why is it I don’t want to disappoint people by taking a stand for what is best for me? Back to Judith’s villains, curious to see which one was responsible, because this one is big.

JPH Note: Ah Cindy, you are so close! The operative words are “position which did not ring true for my immediate needs nor future goals.” You are conquering the LOST LOVE villain. You had accumulated just enough love for yourself to realize when something was not good for you. However, you haven’t quite let go of all the old “Lost Love” behavior – people-pleasing, guilt, fear of disappointing others. So, you felt the nagging call of old behavior, yet you did not listen. You paid attention instead to a new-found love of your own needs and you did it! That deserves a giant “Atta-girl!” You won the Lost Love Tug-of-war.

If you want to finish clearing this villain, write that list of things you no longer love in your life, things like people-pleasing, guilt, lack of self-recognition and self-respect, disappointing relationships, out-dated dreams, false hopes…Make sure the list is complete and then destroy it. Finally, on a beautiful, new sheet of paper, write about all the things you love about yourself, your life, and the activities and people in it. You are on a different track now and success is visible just around the corner.

Categories : Blocks in the News


  1. Janae says:

    I just hope whoever wretis these keeps writing more!

    • Judith Parker Harris says:

      I write every word on my blog, unless I”m highlighting a guest author, then I name the author.
      I invite you to subscribe to my ezine. You’ll find out how on my website,
      And you can count on me to keep on writing.
      To Your BlockBuster Success,

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