Do You Have To Grow Up To Get A Job?


At this point I am interviewing for positions for which I am not completely qualified. We do that, right? Get scared there is nothing out there or what is out there will show up too late. So I’ve ignored the database management requirement as I sit across the desk from a woman in the fashion industry. “But I can learn anything!” I demand. My enthusiasm effects her like I’m tossing popcorn at a battle ship. I even wore my best designer suit since this was in the fashion world only to discover the “dress” of this small office is very casual and there would be no interaction with designers. Lesson learned: Do more homework. Show up looking like you belong. I push onward. “What exactly would I be doing?” She points to the five stacks of papers on her desk, each a different category. “All this,” she said with a wave of her calm, majestic hand attended by a concise, verbal summary of each stack. Like she was the queen of her castle and all was well in the land of Nod. “People rely on us for information,” she added. “A certain degree of gravitas is required. We not only have to be right but instill our clients with confidence in what we offer.” I left the interview reaffirming my desire for this position. I knew standing at the downtown bus stop that the job was not mine.

I went home and looked up gravitas: seriousness, solemnity or importance. This woman really thought a lot of herself and her services. I felt it and was drawn to her. My over-reaching personality, that I think charming, served me well in previous situations, including when I was five and vying for my parents’ attentions, but it is far from gravitas. How is it that I’m drawn to traits in another that I don’t have? Maybe the people-pleasing me yearns to grow up and hold my own. Maybe what I need is a complete personality change. Or maybe I just need to address the Killer Villain, again. My free-spirited, light-hearted attitude apparently no longer serves me. Because really, is there anything more scary than a middle-aged woman who still needs to grow up? This Killer Villain is trying to take me down and I will not let it. But how to kill the Killer?

Judith Parker Harris COMMENT:

How do you kill the killer?

Grow up. Leave the old negative lessons, habits and routines behind.

When being interviewed, use the 4-step, magic communication technique that will draw people to you: 1) Open up, 2) Listen, 3) Keep your defenses down, 4) Think about your strategy and how you can be part of the solution for the interviewer.

Do you have to grow up?

Answer: Depends on the job, but definitely keep it open as an option.

Categories : Blocks in the News

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