Nov
27

ANOTHER VILLAIN IN MY JOB SEARCH

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This is Part 13 of a continuing series by Cindy Baker Gilbert

What’s wrong with me? Months and months of job postings stream into my email inbox, resumes down dark rabbit holes, not living in Los Angeles and trying to get a job in Los Angeles – what am I, a hamster on a wheel? I’m still here plugging away at my temporary job that in four months will hold third place in the longest job I’ve ever held category. My best thinking finally tells me I could step up my article submissions to Judith’s e-zine. Why wait for a new monthly? I could write about the villain surrounding Obamacare. Wait, I don’t understand Obamacare. Or, I could write about our political parties because there is a “for sure” villain jamming up those works. No, that might alienate readers. Maybe write about the villain that holds back the country from consensus on the murder of JFK. But these issues feel too big. Can’t I start with a simple double murder or murder-suicide? I want to think big, write big and be big. And right away it feels like too much trouble and I don’t know enough about any of it and who cares what I think anyway? There, I said it. That’s the block. It keeps me from admitting I’m a writer. It keeps me following job posts and situations I think I need but don’t want. It tells me I’ll never make a living being a writer so I’d better continue with Plan B which we all know turns out to actually be the plan.

It’s easy to see the villains in other people, places and things, but to recognize and name it myself? My ego glasses have slipped off the bridge of my nose before, but this time they are stuck to my face and won’t budge. I want to do what matters to me, not make sure “the boss” has what he needs when he needs it. Are you there, Judith? Help!

Cindy, Coach Judith is here. OK, the villain you are plagued by (get ready to cringe) is the pirate/Bandit — the I’m not good enough villain. Everybody else has more, is more, does more is more worthy. You give your power to others, but feel like it has been stolen from you. You are not rich enough, talented enough, pretty enough, tall enough, bright enough — everybody else is MORE than you… everyone else has more than you — more money, more time, more talent, more fun, more…

To decide to be a write, without a boss to invest your power in, is to decide you are enough. You’ve got the talent. You are worth being a writer. You’ve got things to say.

However, you are robbed blind by thoughts like these:
I could write, but…(excuse goes here).
“These issues feel too big.”
“It feels like too much trouble.”
“I don’t know enough.”
“Who cares what I think anyway.”

Well, in the process of your rant, Cindy, you wrote a funny article.

That’s what I advise for all of you stuck in the excuse-ridden doldrums. Have a rant. Get out all the excuses. Stop letting the pirate villain rob you of your own talent and self-worth.

Decide what you want to do and spend at least 30-minutes every day going after it.

Take back your life and start acting like who you want to be. Pretty soon it won’t be an act, it will be your life.

Pirates be gone!

Categories : Blocks in the News

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